Reviews by Kyle Ellis

I will admit I didn't see this until a couple of days ago, and I was really hesitant of seeing it, after reading a lot of negative reviews on the film, and after seeing the excrement that is Disaster Movie. And let me tell you, after seeing this travesty for myself, I can't agree more with the negativity. While not quite as monstrous as Disaster Movie, Epic Movie(more like Epic Dud) is a truly terrible movie. There are absolutely no redeeming qualities here. The humour just isn't funny. It is crude, vulgar, over-familiar and even contrived, and the constant flashing of breasts was way overdone. The acting was really amateur, Jennifer Coolidge and Carmen Electra get my vote as the worst actresses in the movie, and believe me that is not saying much. The Willy Wonka spoof was just as tired as the movie itself. And as a parody of films like Pirates of the Caribbean and chronicles of Narnia, it falls well short in terms of sophistication. The writing is unbelievably bad, the characters are annoying and the plot just isn't there. The music was awful, and the pirate rap was torturously bad. I will say right now, that I don't like any of the recent Friedberg-Seltzer movies, merely because not only do I feel that there is a complete lack of comedic talent in their films, but also their films come across as a complete waste of time. And just like Disaster Movie, I seriously was considering turning the film off 20 minutes in, that's how painful I found it. All in all, probably not quite the worst movie ever, but along with movies like Home Alone 4, NeverEnding Story 3 and Freddy Got Fingered, it is close. A complete disaster of epic proportions, and one to avoid, even if you're thinking of renting. I'm not trying to sound harsh, I am just trying to explain as much as I can what I feel about the movie. 1/10 Bethany Cox

The first Scary Movie was very entertaining if rather mindless, 2 is uneven though much better than what is often said about it, 3 was a mixed bag and 4 was poor and until now was the worst of the four. This fifth entry was just awful with no redeeming values, the only movie of the series to be on the same level as rubbish like Disaster Movie and Epic Movie and actually comes dangerously close to being even worse. Visually it's cheap, with the way it's shot and edited strongly reminiscent of a poorly done direct-to-video movie and that is the same with the sets. The soundtrack is generic and like a noisy music video with a lot thrown in for the sake of it and very little adds anything to what is going on. The dialogue toe-curlingly bad in how inane and excessively vulgar it is. Nothing about it is funny or witty, much of it is immature and insulting, if the writers were clueless as to what was funny that comes through loud and clear. The funniest it gets? "Help, there's a mad demon in my house", and if you're thinking that that is also stupid, you're right, it is. There is not much story here to speak of, it was just an excuse seemingly to cobble together genre send-ups and parodies and the sheer idiocy only increases. And none of these are funny, some of the gags are drawn out to an unbearable degree, the ones sending up horrors like Evil Dead have nothing atmospheric, scary or remotely creepy about them and the bulimia and pregnancy gags were tasteless(and not mildly, this is more above-borderline offensive, in quite some while no other movie has evoked a reaction as extreme as this). There's even a surreal spoof on Fifty Shades of Grey, which came across as out of place. The acting is awful, and even that is an insult to the word awful. It wasn't a problem that the original cast weren't there, what was was that none of the actors had any spirit and energy to their performances, the few actors who do have some talent are wasted and some overact, Ashley Tisdale being the worst offender. Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan send themselves and their tabloid reps embarrassingly, the Paranormal Activity spoof wasn't scary or halfway amusing in the slightest. In conclusion, a complete mess and by far the worst of an overall hit-and-miss movie series. 1/10 Bethany Cox

As far as spoof movies go, Stan Helsing is not as abysmal as Disaster Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans and 2001:A Space Travesty, but it is a long way from being Airplane!, Young Frankenstein, Galaxy Quest and Loaded Weapon 1 either. As a spoof movie, it fails. It is unfunny and quite frankly pointless as well.

The production values are cheap. The camera work itself is reminiscent of direct-to-video fodder, while the sets are cheap and the costumes are little more than fancy-dress. The soundtrack is poor and doesn't fit with the tone of the movie. The comedy doesn't work at all either, the script is absolutely awful with stale laughs, the spoofs are irrelevant and superfluous and any slapstick is painfully juvenile.

The story is almost non-existent, and any scene that tries to tell even a thread of a story ends up being predictable and pointless. There isn't a single likable character either, all of them are caricatures and clichés, the direction is sloppy and the pace is rushed. The acting is terrible, the female leads are beautiful but can't act and how Leslie Nielson was dragged into this I shall never know.

Overall, a lame and unfunny spoof movie and best avoided. 2/10 Bethany Cox

The original 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' is still to me one of the scariest and best horror films there is, as well as a truly great film in its own right and introduced us to one of the genre's most iconic villains in Freddy Krueger. It is always difficult to do a sequel that lives up to a film as good as 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' let alone one to be on the same level.

After the 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' series showed signs of severe fatigue, that it was suggestive of the series being completely dead, original director Wes Craven makes a welcome return and brings new, fresh life to the series. 'New Nightmare' may not be as good as the original, none of the follow-ups are (though two of the previous sequels, the third and fourth, were good), but it is the best of the follow-ups since the third and is one of the best in the series.

'New Nightmare' has its faults. Its biggest one is the ending, it is just ridiculous and jars tonally with the rest of the film, which took a darker and more serious direction (perhaps more so than the original). Count me in as another person who didn't care for Freddy's look here, it looks rather goofy and doesn't do Robert Englund's creepy performance and the way Freddy's written justice.

Heather Langenkamp also seemed a bit bland and seemed rather anaemic for a character written more dramatically than previously.

On the other hand, 'New Nightmare' looks very atmosphere and made with a good deal of style and slickness. The production design has a suitably nightmarish look and the special effects are great and perhaps superior to the original's. The music score is haunting.

The writing may lack the one-liners seen before, but the more serious direction the dialogue took was appreciated after the fifth and sixth films did such a poor job with the one-liners and comedy. The dialogue isn't mind-blowing but it flows decently and intrigues at least. The semi-documentary-style adopted for some of the film is very interesting, making for one of the most original ideas of the follow-ups and the series overall too, while still delivering on the shocks, suspense and creepiness.

Despite the goofy look for Freddy, Englund is very creepy and even with not much screen time he burns long in the memory.

In summary, one of the series' better entries and worth staying awake for. 7/10 Bethany Cox

The original 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' is still to me one of the scariest and best horror films there is, as well as a truly great film in its own right and introduced us to one of the genre's most iconic villains in Freddy Krueger. It is always difficult to do a sequel that lives up to a film as good as 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' let alone one to be on the same level.

'A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors' has often been touted as the best 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' sequel (or one of them) and one of the best of the series. Couldn't agree more with this. For me it is the best sequel, and while it is not quite in the same level as the original it is the closest the follow-ups get to having what made the original the classic that it is and is much better than the second film.

'Dream Warriors' may not be perfect. Maybe it could have done with having a few less characters, Neil could have been more interesting and stronger developed, and the support acting is variable though none terrible.

However, Heather Langenkamp fills her role very well and Robert Englund is terrifying once more as Freddy (cannot imagine anybody else). Chuck Russell's direction is some of the best of the series in by far the best directed sequel. He is not afraid to stretch genre boundaries and does it in a way that feels fresh, a lot of it is remarkably imaginative for an 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' sequel and the execution is great.

As are the special effects, particularly the snake and the TV set, the darkly comic humour with cracking one-liners and the truly frightening scares with the marionette scene being one of the highlights of the series.

Very little is shoddy in the production values, the production design being both dream-like and nightmarish and the photography is stylish. The music looms ominously, while the Edgar Allan Poe quote and the Ray Harryhausen montage are inspired touches.

In summary, very well executed and the best of the sequels. 8/10 Bethany Cox

The original 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' is still to me one of the scariest and best horror films there is, as well as a truly great film in its own right and introduced us to one of the genre's most iconic villains in Freddy Krueger. It is always difficult to do a sequel that lives up to a film as good as 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' let alone one to be on the same level.

As far as 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' sequels go, there are good ones such as 'The Dream Master' (number 4) and especially 'Dream Warriors' (number 3) but also disappointing ones with 'The Dream Child (number 5) and this 'The Final Nightmare' (the second film 'Freddy's Revenge' was also underwhelming but not as much as 5 and 6).

Very little to recommend, with the only good things being Robert Englund doing his conscientious and freaky best and the haunting music.

While a little better-looking than the fifth film, being not as crude and self-indulgent, the suitably nightmarish at times production design is wasted by the film looking drab and dreary and it can look sloppy. The 3D looks cheap and was truly pointless. Like the previous film, erratically paced (both rushed and tedious), ridiculous and non-atmospheric story with scares that are unimaginatively derivative, too far and between and vapidly tame on the whole. It lacks any kind of originality and is all very ho-hum.

Englund aside, the acting is both bland and annoying. The cameos from Rosanne Barr, Johnny Depp and Alice Cooper were just as unnecessary as the 3D and are neither interesting or funny. Like the fifth film though, the cast have to work with an awkwardly clunky script and irritating characters that are written childishly and make decisions that frustrate. Even the humour doesn't work, Freddy's one-liners are more stale and toe-curlingly groan-worthy than twisted or witty and what was darkly comic before is replaced by an overload of cheese. The direction is largely unimaginative, while there is far too much of an over-reliance on gimmicks (none fresh or clever) and the ending is one of the lamest and most tacked on there is in horror.

Overall, an incredibly tired entry and suggestive that the series is dead. 2/10 Bethany Cox

The original 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' is still to me one of the scariest and best horror films there is, as well as a truly great film in its own right and introduced us to one of the genre's most iconic villains in Freddy Krueger. It is always difficult to do a sequel that lives up to a film as good as 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' let alone one to be on the same level.

'A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child' is one just of the weakest sequels in the 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' film series, and one of the weakest films overall. It is such a big disappointment after being so impressed by the surprisingly good previous two sequels (was also underwhelmed by the second film, which to me is actually marginally better than this one). The third film in particular being the best sequel by far if not quite on the same level as the original, a very difficult feat.

'The Dream Child' is not unwatchable by all means. The music score is still hauntingly ominous, the scariest that the film gets is by listening to the music and it is sad that most of the rest of the film doesn't match it in effectiveness. Robert Englund's material is beneath him, but that doesn't stop him from giving it his all and giving a freaky performance.

Production design is the most dream-like the film ever gets and has moments of being nightmarish, just wish that one can appreciate it more because the way it's photographed and edited doesn't do it justice. A couple of the deaths are cool, though there is nothing inspired or creepy here.

However, 'The Dream Child' is an example of style over substance and sadly the style is not done very well...at all in one of the worst looking and most self-indulgent-looking films in the series. The production design is undone by an over-reliance on sudden, amateurish and often misplaced shock cuts and incredibly crude imagery that belongs more in a rock video-like cartoon. This feels like an attempt to compensate for an erratically paced (both rushed and tedious), ridiculous and non-atmospheric story with scares that are unimaginatively derivative, too far and between and vapidly tame on the whole.

Apart from Englund, the acting is very poor (even Lisa Wilcox isn't anywhere near as winning as in the previous film), with the actors having to work with an awkwardly clunky script and irritating characters that constantly make silly and illogical decisions. Even the humour doesn't work, Freddy's one-liners are more stale and toe-curlingly groan-worthy than twisted or witty and what was darkly comic before is replaced by an overload of cheese. The direction is largely unimaginative, and only a couple of the deaths are cool, the others are forgettable at best.

In conclusion, lacklustre and a long way from a dream. 4/10 Bethany Cox

The original 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' is still to me one of the scariest and best horror films there is, as well as a truly great film in its own right and introduced us to one of the genre's most iconic villains in Freddy Krueger. It is always difficult to do a sequel that lives up to a film as good as 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' let alone one to be on the same level.

'A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge' is not to me the dreadful film as reputed, but, while its attempts to do something different is admirable, it should have been much better than it turned out to be. It is very difficult to not feel disappointed when you inevitably compare 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' to its first sequel and find that the drop in quality is so significant and hard to ignore. Whether 'Freddy's Revenge' is the worst of the series is debatable, to me and many others it is one of the weaker ones.

'Freddy's Revenge' is not a complete waste of time. It starts off very promisingly, with the bus scene is thrillingly unsettling. Easily the film's scariest moment and the scene one remembers the most. Robert Englund is still very freaky and shows why Freddy is so iconic as a villain, he may not be quite as terrifying but the material isn't as strong here and he is still highly effective.

It's not a bad-looking film, there is a slickness to it and there are some nightmarish effects. There are some eerie moments, though none of the rest of the film lives up to the bus scene, and some amusing dark humour. The music is suitably haunting.

However, there are also a fair share of problems. The scares don't come enough, and while there are effective ones there are also just as many that are perfunctory and pretty tame by 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' series standards. Credit is due for trying to do something different and there are parts that do intrigue. A tighter pace and less pedestrian direction would have made the execution better, as well as trying to do less and focus more on the quality of the scares and how the story is told.

Jesse is such a dull damp squib of a character who lacks a quick-thinking or logical brain let alone any kind of presence. The one-note expressionless acting of Mark Patton accentuates this. The rest of the cast are nowhere near as bad, but when it comes to the acting the only one to properly rise above the material is Englund. Lastly, the ending is a slap in the face and really undoes Freddy's character, he would never do what he does at the end and it doesn't make sense for him to do it.

Overall, not that bad but could have been much better. 5/10 Bethany Cox

The idea to have two horror character icons, Freddy Krueger from the 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' films and Jason Voorhees from the 'Friday the 13th' films, in the same film was an intriguing one and had a lot of potential to work.

Unfortunately, 'Freddy vs. Jason' was an example of a film that executed this intriguing idea poorly and it really does not live up to its rather misleading title. 'Freddy vs. Jason' is not a complete disaster, then again this is coming from somebody who always tries to find something of worth in bad films. It has a visual eeriness (at times, when it's not looking like it was made on the cheap) and the music looms ominously and tries to give the film some kind of mood. The film also boasts one good performance, that of Robert Englund showing why Freddy's iconic status in the horror film genre is justified.

When it comes to the acting stakes however, Englund is the only one who seemed to be trying. Ken Kirzinger never looks comfortable as Jason, which immediately dissipates any kind of menace. Regardless of how out of his depth Kirzinger was he is nothing compared to the dreadful, a very rare adjective for me these days when it comes to film critiquing, performances from everyone else, with a big dishonourable mention going to a catastrophically bad Kelly Rowland.

Not that it is entirely their fault, though mostly it is. The characters that aren't Freddy and Jason are incredibly irritating and don't actually serve much point to the story other than having a subplot that induces unintentional laughter and feels really thrown in in a barely relevant way. Some of it is done to the writing and some of it is also to do with that the acting is as bad as it is. With its excessive froth, even more excessive cheese, stilted flow and over-reliance on clunky and useless exposition the dialogue is an embarrassment.

'Freddy vs. Jason' even manages to foul up Freddy and Jason themselves. The myths, back-stories and development of both characters are muddled and ludicrous. There is a complete lack of scares, chills or suspense, thanks to pointless gore and a story that overdoses on daftness and relies far too much on the dreams within nightmares concept that was tired well before this film was made. Mostly it feels cheap and Ronny Yu's direction never rises above the half-hearted (most of the time he fails to reach even that).

Overall, with an interesting idea going for it there was a decent film somewhere in 'Freddy vs. Jason'. It's just so frustrating that it turned out to be the mess that it is, with the huge (in number and size) flaws fighting the few good points every step of the way. 3/10 Bethany Cox

This was a wonderful movie, with colourful characters, a fun storyline, and a funny and sometimes touching script.(I liked Shrek as well, but I slightly preferred this) I don't think it is quite as good as Toy Story, but I found it an enormously entertaining film, it was much better than I expected. The animation was truly excellent, with colourful and engaging backgrounds, and no stiff movements as far as I could see. I wasn't hugely keen on the song playing over the end credits, but compared to the overall goodness of the film, that is such a minor criticism, and it is fair to say that people have different tastes in music. The script was very, very funny, particularly with the character Roz. The voice talents were fantastic, John Goodman and Billy Crystal were brilliant as Sulley and Mike, Steve Buschemi clearly has a lot of seedy fun as Randall, Jennifer Tilly is wonderfully innocent as Mike's girlfriend, and the late James Coburn is wholly convincing as Waternoose. And I loved the character of Boo, she was so cute, and I loved the ending, people complained it was overly-sentimental but I thought it was so sweet. The story, as is always the case with Pixar films is highly original and charming, and doesn't drag at all. Overall, a wonderful film, truly entertaining and a must-see, and if you are starting to lose faith in Disney and their countless sequels, this is perfect for you. 9.5/10 Bethany Cox.